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Gorillas In Our Midst 

© 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆

Part 2 of 5:

The next stage, of course, is the Chimps. Probably smartest of the bunch and definitely the most productive. They have developed some cognitive skills by this time and have managed to overcome the handicap of years of schooling. The key to having a successful organization is the Chimp Critical Mass. Having spent their Organ-grinder years absorbing knowledge from the other Chimps, they think they know a thing or two about a thing or two. And they snigger at the Organ-grinders about the “any” key on the keyboard. They can navigate in their part of the organizational campus without getting lost. Have picked up a smattering of the lingo - Five Lies / Six Enigmas / Seven Dreams / Eight Misdeeds or other current favorite tools in their organization. At this stage, most of the Chimps still play nice with each other but one can see some signs of future behavioral issues with regards to sharing knowledge, equipment and resources: much like the proverbial three year olds that look at all the toys yelling, “All MINE!”…

Early training in the Art of B3 (Blah-Blah-Blah) starts around this time. The Chimps are the worker bees that get assigned all the “Action Items” during the endless meetings. The only two important Action Items are, of course, (a) setting up the next endless meeting, and, (b) getting coffee/donuts for the next meeting. Often the Chimps publish meeting “minutes”. Advanced students of “corporate linguistics” will note the usage of euphemism at its best! If one billion Chimps worked on one billion word-processors for about one billion years, contrary to the popular belief, they will not reproduce the collected works of Shakespeare. However, many of the recent TV sitcoms, infomercials, movie screenplays and most lyrics of currently popular music can be attributed to this process. And, of course, meeting minutes.

Like some Organ grinders, many Chimps are destined to stay happy at the Chimp level for the rest of their lives. Unless the Chimps manage to get hitched to life-partners whose daddies are higher-ups at MONKINSEY. Some of these Chimps sense that they might stay as Chimps for the rest of their lives and turn into Bitter Chimps. Signs of Bitter Chimp behavior have been noted by organizational anthropologists in numerous betting sheets. Non-committal grunts. Studious averting of eyes when asked for help. Nit-picking of other Chimps. Random gnashing of the teeth. All are easily recognized symptoms of the onset of typical Bitter Chimp behavior.

These Bitter Chimps point to the other Chimps or poor Organ-grinders if there are any fleas. They also try to hoard all the bananas for the group. Some monkey watchers have attributed part of their sour expressions and general demeanor to their diet of green, unripe bananas.

By this time into their Chimp stage, the Bitter Chimps have convinced themselves that they are the most important bricks in the company wall and indispensable. They do not think anyone else in the company can twist tires (or peel bananas or do cartwheels) with the same care, precision and skill-level that they themselves exhibit. After all, they have ten or more years of experience in learning the fine nuances of the bike tire twisting, banana peeling or doing cartwheels. They demand to be recognized as functional leads, process owners, etc. and harbor the secret angst (at least, secret to them) that if they teach tire twisting, banana peeling, etc. to other primates, they may no longer be the only valuable monkeys in the zoo.

(To Be Continued...)

© 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆

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