Manure-smriti on the Funny Farm

 

© 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆

FF Friends!  Unique desi solutions are now driving the Big Bad Bug away from the FF - the thali banging parties, those danda-oocha-rahe-hamara cops, astral projections of shani's ascendance into surya's house, etc... There are a couple of other items below curated just for you as the entire world exponentially moves to catch up on the nuances of logarithmic scale.

Numéro un: The lunatics are now running the asylum  Our FF friends have an abundance of time and energy on their hands. They are plugged into many other fertile farms while unplugged from daily dose of reality.  While the Funny Farm always had some "creative content", we seem to be hurtling like a meteor towards becoming the Feckless Fowardistan.  Here is my backward. Sources attributed? Bah! I have a private source, who needs anything else? Data check? Pshaw! You check it if you want to, I am convinced. We can't get any data anyway so this must be correct! Sanity filter? The entire planet - nay, universe is insane, why is this not believable?! Contradictory story? It's all fake news, what makes this more fake than others! Typos and other mistakes? Ignore that and admire the numerous qualities of the cow-pattie being offered! Sniff test? My sh...tuff doesn't stink, dammit, have been told numerous times about my phenomenal sh...tuff. Hoaxes and rumors? All good to go. Damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead!

Don't question! Chew the cud!  Accept and regurgitate!! Those myriad missives from many self-proclaimed experts? They exist to enrich our gyan, completely selflessly. The Nigerian princes who want to share their wealth, the Unix virus help desk who has detected a problem on your computer, the Far-east bankers with access to millions of dollars in dormant bank accounts. All have more time on their hands to help during these times.  Covid, Quo Vadis? RNA, DNA, INA?  Does it matter, which NA?  

 

Eminent ecownomists of the entire galaxy have discussed recent global wealth redistribution. Conclusively linked it in this forward - this deep rooted, deep-state conspiracies designed and executed cunningly to destabilize, destroy and dominate by certain rogue regimes.  Distinguished dietitians from Disneyland and affiliated with UN Security Council have derided the food habits of distant denizens, chhi chhi! while extolling the antiseptic properties of gaumutra.  Here is the forward. Click on this link, this forward! Veteran Virologists and venerable veterinarians from Venus and other planets have pondered why have we not had such problems before. Here is an exotic video to prove their point that those little green martians are the cause of our misery. You question? Tsk. Explain this forward. You can't, can you?

Numéro deux: Several FF denizens have also wondered about the crock of sh... manure being applied on other farms to stimulate their GDP (Grass Domestic Product). Why is that Anointed Farm dumping 2.2 trillion crock-ful's on their farm while our Funny Farm is only sprinkling a mere 20 billion stinking Lota-ful's?  

It has been carefully explained by some that more manure cannot be just conjured up and made available out of some exalted exit orifice on the Funny Farm, really! It is mentioned minutely in Manure-smriti if anyone actually cared to look. Others have contended that much of the other odoriferous output has indeed been produced that way in the past so what is the problem?! 

Our resident Ecownomist has put on his hip-waders to wade weigh into this topic. Careful research has revealed the various factors that affect the shape, size, sizzle of the... sh output. In the first case, it is hypothesized that those crock-fuls were produced on a porcelain bowl of clean water while admiring the mega-mountains of recently acquired toilet paper.  The yield was impressive, indeed. In the second case, the sulabh hole in the ground was used while ruminating about (diddly)-squat (with the left-hand rule applied for ablutions). Everyone knows that it is superior to the phoren craze of those bilayati murgi's sitting on a desi bowl.

Have no fears for our GDP, Friends, our beloved Funny Farm continues to remain exceptionally well-fertilized.

 

 © 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆