The WhatsCrapp Times 

 (Hands On, Pants Off edition)

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Extra! Extra!!  Why Be Fooled Somewhere else?

Funny Farm is buzzing with the invasion of killer bees from Heck. The Cows, Goats, Geese and the (equal but less equal) other assorted animals are going stir-crazy.  Swirling pantsless while WFH. Cleaning up cobwebs and driving bats out of their belfries.  Re-serving up the same lukewarm (forwar)dishes from their other WhatsCrapp, FarceBook and InstaBabble virtual, half-baked feeds.  Park your brains, fellow FF folks, suspend your beliefs and enjoy!

Amble says Wake-up people! Rejoice! Repent! / Gnash your teeth! / Binge-watch Netflix. Your hair / their pants / the bush / this girl is on FIIIIRE, here is  conclusive proof / wild-a$$ conspiracy / 95% discount flier !!

Bumble says Relax, man, it's troubling sign for the FF natives, yes, and totally due to not following the Manusmriti code of conduct.  The FF has seen this coming, this is the Kali-yuga.  Nothing we can't  fix / destroy / bomb / drown / ignore.  5G's (Panch-gavya) to the rescue!

Crumble says Bumble is full of $h.t. I have personal message delivered by carrier pigeons from my beautician / dietician / statistician friend's uncle's third cousin who is working 24-7 on this. Smoke has indeed been pouring from my ears / the bar-b-q grill  all weekend.  Ergo, Bingo! The FF world should totally be on / we didn't start the fire!!!

Dimwit says Amble, Bumble, Crumble and Egghead are not getting the complete picture / subscription to Amazon Prime / porn channel / required medications / psychiatric help that they need.

Egghead says Heck, NO, stop this, Dmwit.  NOW! Stop misleading the faithful FF Denizens with half-baked nonsense / cookies / ceramic pottery.

Amble trumpets loudly that in response to this impending calamity / catastrophe / caterwauling, the silence from the other side is golden / deafening / signs of abject surrender / Maun (absence of noise or ~10 bB level).

Fumble says Egghead can go f**k himself, Dimwit didn't read the full post / tea-leaves.  All are smoking something funky.  He would call Bumble a son-of-a-bee but bees might be offended. Crumble's argument and snide comments is how the cookie eventually, well, crumbles.

Dimwit says anyone who agrees with Bumble, Egghead and Fumble now, but agreed with Amble, Crumble, and Grumble during the BAD (Before Acche Din) Congress Raj / BJP AD (Acche Din) / ReThuglican Elephant Daze / DemocRat Donkey’s Years is guilty of sheer, unfettered and totally hilarious / heinous / horrific hypocrisy.

Grumble says Hothead is right / wrong and this is what gives our side / their side / love a bad name….but criticizing Bumble is unfair / fair game and if you'd really read the graffiti on the wall / Egyptian hieroglyphics / smoke signals / kama sutra from April 15, 1912 you'd know that!!!

Ignoramus says calm down. Let's sort this out rationally / alphabetically/ categorically / algorithmically.

Joker says we tried calm and rational already and it didn't work. Now please drop your pants so you can pull your head / statistics / broomstick out of your a$$.  It might just save mightily on your chiropractor or proctologist bills!

Kilroy and Loser say they watched all cartoons / talk shows / ESPN / GuruSwami videos.  We've all known about this for ages and all known and UNknown agencies are praising Funny Farm's Buzzing Bee BS Bash.

Mongo and Nanga say on that you can't control / supervise / criticize / euthanize the entire Funny Farm. Not possible.  FF animals are party animals - in more ways than can be counted

Obunda retweets flake news and within five minutes gets re-tweeted 100,000 times.

Pondy says go back and read Bumble, Egghead and Grumble. Because you missed this relevant / irrelevant stuff - fractured factoid / buried dog bone!  This exception / deception / connection / rejection / conniption totally proves / disproves that the originator is a genius / moron / taxidermist.

Quacker says no, don’t read Bumble, Egghead and Grumble because someone just released a NEW BOMBSHELL that will set your skull on fire again.  If you have one left after the first bombshell.  It will totally make hair grow through ears / nostrils / other orifices without Rogaine.

Randy says okay, yeah, the new bombshell is pretty shocking / rocking / meh but what about this dude which is meh / stinky / intoxicating.

Stinky says the number of false assumptions / out-of-context quotes / bad grammatical choices / melted crayons in the new bomb / pistachio / c-shell make it a mess.

Tatta wonders about anyone who feels compelled to rebut / ignore Quacker's propaganda.  As an aside, Randy is anyway a psychopath / sociopath / homeopath / naturopath.

Uncouth and Vicious stumble into the debate discussion late / hung over and have no clue what's going on. Nor interested except trying to cure that buzzing in their head - not sure if it is from the the damn boozing bees or not.

Wagger tries to explain to Uncouth and Vicious what's going on, causing Uncouth to fall asleep while Vicious gets... vicious.

Xman accuses Yokel, in a sidebar, of cherry picking his facts. Yokel accuses Xman of nit / nose / a$$ picking.

Zoomer tunes out completely and leaves the group.

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