Merrie Melodi's

© 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆

 

[penned just before the arré khāli(stān) pili kyun bom mārtā hai sh...tuff between kanédā & jambudwip hit the proverbial fan and splattered all over WhatsCrapp]

The WhatsCrappolis is abuzz these days going gee(20) whiz. One videoclip after another from the recently concluded nonesuch extravaganza is being forwarded breathlessly by the swooning swarms. This Lollapalooza WhatsCrappalooza has now firmly established the host country as a worthy contender for the Noble (sic) prize the one putting on The Greatest Show on Earth, much to the consternation of the original claimants, viz., Ringling Bros.-Barnum & Bailey Circus. All, take a bow, kiss, kiss, and pat yourselves on the back, yes, sir! You should all be proud of your part in the par-tay! Do we know how to throw a bash or what!! UNESCO is said to be recognizing this changing of the guards at this very moment. The legendary PT Barnum of the famously mis-attributed quote, "There’s a Sucker Born Every Minute" is squirming in his grave, having to give up his title of The Greatest Showman to a more worthy successor.

I hark back to my own younger days as a wet-behind-the-ears research assistant early in grad school. My thesis adviser was convinced that I was spending many, many Saturday mornings in the lab deeply delving into the mysteries of multi-physics thermo-fluid sciences. Now that I am safely away from your clutches, Dr. EnsLAK (name disguised to protect the clueless) - haha, chortles, guffaws, and teehee, I wasn't. Instead, I was happily ROTFLMAO, engrossed in Looney Tunes & Merry Melodies cartoons, munching slices of leftover cold pizza and guzzling warm beer. My prized possession, a second-hand five inch B&W TV that received only three over-the-air channels, was on at full volume. Those are, honestly, my fondest memories of grad school. 

Some of those beloved cartoon characters reappeared at this Mother of all Parties, on the world stage, in person and in absentia. This recent gala with a capital G, the gathering of *the* twenty, in a capital city known as EnDee was truly a blast of glitz & glamor for all to see. Let's just wait and watch if Lalu Lula bhaiyā can carry off even a shadow of a show next year comparable to this one. Not a chance... considering they are still nursing the hangover from the 2016 Rio bacchanalia. BTW, do they even grow millet o painço? Anyone read any papers ever over there? 

Wile E Coyote, apparently busy chasing that rogue Roadrunner, sent his сожаления, товарищи (regrets, tovarisch). The dang stick of dynamite keeps exploding at the wrong time. The anvil keeps dropping on the wrong head, and the Wagnerian opera inspired catapult seems to have developed a mind of its own, flattening wily ole Wile face first against the cliffside. That pesky feathered menace was supposed to have been an easy prey but keeps dancing to the tune of nato nato, going "meep meep," evading all the best weaponry from the Acme Corp. However, ole Wile did help wordsmith behind the scenes to ensure that the most diplomatic, footloose & fancyfree footnote free communiqué in the history of mankind, nay universe, inked using Chanakyā/Kautilyā's quill, which was signed by all revelers. No mean feat of pulling strings by the puppet master. снимаю шляпу! (Hats off)

Bugs Bunny (the Indo Bharato-British one) got star treatment and wisely did not put his rabbit foot into his mouth about koh i noor / 43 trillion "Duck Season / Wabbit Season" controversy. He did get a full dose of his daily saffron beta carotene intake and was wildly applauded and cheered by the global WhatsCrappiaspora as someone not ashamed of showing off their natural suntan drama with a flare. Alongside Mrs Bunny, he captured many, many headlines, proving to be the very model of a modern major general template of a true temple visitor, a worthy desi SiL, unsullied by the evil western influences surrounding them. Proudly showed off all the yoga poses learned to date to all the neighborhood Sharmaji's beaming with pride. Though a bit constrained by his western attire, it was noted. Worry not, mitron, bhārat mummyji will have her vilāyati jamāi bābu outfitted properly for the next trip. That's what's up, Doc!

Elmer J Fudd made a flying appearance, too, in this one. He made a befuddled speech, toasted the host with a misunderstood roast, visited the gawkers, gawked at the visitors wearing desi costumes, then got distracted by a certain femme fatale. When a visible speech balloon started forming over his head saying "Ooh la la, signora!" , his ever-solicitous jigri dost none-too-gently yanked the yanqui doodle firmly away to refocus him on the task at hand, to smile broadly for the photo op no-pressure non-presser. 

The sadsack Looney Toon character, Mr. Droopy Dog dropped by just in time, though the once handsome pupper looked downright dumb-hounded. It's true, though, he was mostly ignored after getting the stepmother's kiss from the host. The chilly, frosty environs must have reminded him of his native land, otherwise known as The Great White North, famous for beer, ice hockey, maple syrup, and snow. He is reported to be still thawing out his frost-bitten body parts and reeling from the fisticuffs following the festivities. Heck, what party is complete without a lovers' spat or two, eh?!

Winnie the Pooh (Yes, I am straying off the Looney Toon world and waltzing into the Walt-verse or varsha) decided he needed to stay back and reflect on other matters at his own Thotful Spot. The fine china brought out at Winnie's own Charming Cha-cha Party paled in comparison to the golden goblets at this ostentatious austere blowout banquet. He not only missed the soirée of the century, the collective reaction of the cohort at the party was, "Winnie? Who's Xi he?"

Lastly, our own ever-engaging, energetic, and expansive Foghorn Leghorn puffed up his mighty plumage and turned on his megawatt charm. Quanto sei bella Ms. Prissy appeared to respond in kind, and the duo led this star-studded show. The unabashed rapport and the unprecedented bonhomie displayed between the host with the most (56) and a certain bella donna has been a subject of much speculation from uncharitable paparazzi and assorted other green eyed hate mongers. Let me assure you that such sidebar phoren relations are extremely important for maintaining equilibrium in the universe. Jai Ho! The Mighty Mouse may be a one man band and the hands-down winner on Desi's Got Talent! show but he can't do all the jousting, sparring, slashing, smashing, crushing, bashing, burning, etc. of the biased phoren media all by oneself. Creating soundbites in all those those viral clips leaves no time for ze affaires extérieures! Enter the bearded, dapper & dashing host with a billion lumen Binaca smile to save the day. Did they make many merry melodi's in the moonlight? Did they, ever!

As Porky (Cornelius Washington Otis Lincoln Abner Aloysius Casper Jefferson Philbert Horatius Narcissus) Pig said at the end, "Bdee, bdee, bdee, That’s all, folks!"

Cue the closing fanfare.

© 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆