Manure-smriti on the Funny Farm

 

© 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆

FF Friends!  Unique desi solutions are now driving the Big Bad Bug away from the FF - the thali banging parties, those danda-oocha-rahe-hamara cops, astral projections of shani's ascendance into surya's house, etc... There are a couple of other items below curated just for you as the entire world exponentially moves to catch up on the nuances of logarithmic scale.

Numéro un: The lunatics are now running the asylum  Our FF friends have an abundance of time and energy on their hands. They are plugged into many other fertile farms while unplugged from daily dose of reality.  While the Funny Farm always had some "creative content", we seem to be hurtling like a meteor towards becoming the Feckless Fowardistan.  Here is my backward. Sources attributed? Bah! I have a private source, who needs anything else? Data check? Pshaw! You check it if you want to, I am convinced. We can't get any data anyway so this must be correct! Sanity filter? The entire planet - nay, universe is insane, why is this not believable?! Contradictory story? It's all fake news, what makes this more fake than others! Typos and other mistakes? Ignore that and admire the numerous qualities of the cow-pattie being offered! Sniff test? My sh...tuff doesn't stink, dammit, have been told numerous times about my phenomenal sh...tuff. Hoaxes and rumors? All good to go. Damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead!

Don't question! Chew the cud!  Accept and regurgitate!! Those myriad missives from many self-proclaimed experts? They exist to enrich our gyan, completely selflessly. The Nigerian princes who want to share their wealth, the Unix virus help desk who has detected a problem on your computer, the Far-east bankers with access to millions of dollars in dormant bank accounts. All have more time on their hands to help during these times.  Covid, Quo Vadis? RNA, DNA, INA?  Does it matter, which NA?  

 

Eminent ecownomists of the entire galaxy have discussed recent global wealth redistribution. Conclusively linked it in this forward - this deep rooted, deep-state conspiracies designed and executed cunningly to destabilize, destroy and dominate by certain rogue regimes.  Distinguished dietitians from Disneyland and affiliated with UN Security Council have derided the food habits of distant denizens, chhi chhi! while extolling the antiseptic properties of gaumutra.  Here is the forward. Click on this link, this forward! Veteran Virologists and venerable veterinarians from Venus and other planets have pondered why have we not had such problems before. Here is an exotic video to prove their point that those little green martians are the cause of our misery. You question? Tsk. Explain this forward. You can't, can you?

Numéro deux: Several FF denizens have also wondered about the crock of sh... manure being applied on other farms to stimulate their GDP (Grass Domestic Product). Why is that Anointed Farm dumping 2.2 trillion crock-ful's on their farm while our Funny Farm is only sprinkling a mere 20 billion stinking Lota-ful's?  

It has been carefully explained by some that more manure cannot be just conjured up and made available out of some exalted exit orifice on the Funny Farm, really! It is mentioned minutely in Manure-smriti if anyone actually cared to look. Others have contended that much of the other odoriferous output has indeed been produced that way in the past so what is the problem?! 

Our resident Ecownomist has put on his hip-waders to wade weigh into this topic. Careful research has revealed the various factors that affect the shape, size, sizzle of the... sh output. In the first case, it is hypothesized that those crock-fuls were produced on a porcelain bowl of clean water while admiring the mega-mountains of recently acquired toilet paper.  The yield was impressive, indeed. In the second case, the sulabh hole in the ground was used while ruminating about (diddly)-squat (with the left-hand rule applied for ablutions). Everyone knows that it is superior to the phoren craze of those bilayati murgi's sitting on a desi bowl.

Have no fears for our GDP, Friends, our beloved Funny Farm continues to remain exceptionally well-fertilized.

 

 © 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆

 

Info-Demic Infestation

 

© 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆

 
Well, folks, here we are again… The FF is indeed a forum for free exchange of, from and for the fearless fertile brains of the crème de la crème. 

We are smack dab in the midst of the Big Bad Bug infestation. The only thing faster than this BBB is the info-demic infestation in the social media. Indeed, those (forwar)dodo’s are flying faster and soaring higher than the eagles in every forum. 

The FF crème are occupying their time coming up with creative solutions to solve such problems.  They are ready to challenge the normal – working every angle – acute and obtuse – and proposing that their tangents are now the new normal.  There are two novel solutions that​ are being unleashed​​ lately. 

The first solution is getting rid of those ridiculous hand sanitizers, soaps, etc. laden with poisonous chemicals. Indeed, many entrepreneurs are trying to help you with that by clearing the shelves at your local and on-line stores. You call these guys bad names and you ask that we shun them and penalize them?  But they are doing it completely selflessly and for the greater good only, FFS! So that you can accept the real solution that has been staring you in your face all this time - only 1G out of the 5G's from your local gau-shala. The gau-mutra is reputed to be naturally available in abundance on the FF. It is the most potent germicidal known to mankind.  Vouched for by eighty four lakh gods.  The only known cure.  Scoff all you want at such ancient remedies.  All the phoren travelers, their smartphones and social media forums need to be sprinkled with this powerful panacea to eliminate any info-demic spread.  

As a backup, the second solution is Get it On, Bang A Gong, Get it On. We clapped and used Bluetooth speakers to add to the normal cacophony on the FF, applauding the front line caregivers dealing with BBB.  Kudos, Thumbs Up, Folded Hand emoji and High Fives all around! But FF denizens have discovered the hidden and ancient scientific ways that this Bang A Gong could destroy the BBB info-demic infestation. 

There is ample and convincing evidence in video games about the speed and efficiency of Sonic the Hedgehog to annihilate and crush the enemy. Ultrasonic, Supersonic, Infrasonic energy waves - No, Nein, Nada, you say? You feckless, ignorant, un-believer.  Go back and read your scriptures again.  What about naada, you ignoramus?  Our ancient literature is full of scientific facts about an-hada naada, meghnaada and other naada power references. The science handed to us by our ancestors, we discarded it like yesterday's newspaper. We were warned about the destructive power of acoustics by our parents! "Don't listen to that rock’n’roll too loud?"   Lost our hearing, eh?  And our moral bearings along the way, eh? 

With this power, you grab a hold of that BBB by its tail and shake it at its resonant frequency. A total arta-naada from BBB. It will break apart, spilling its guts like a common pick-pocket in front of the havildar. So crank up your sound systems now!

As the bard (not Cacofonix, the other bard) famously said about info-demics:

It is a tale,
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing.

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, folks!

 

 © 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆

The WhatsCrapp Times 

 (Hands On, Pants Off edition)

© 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆   

Extra! Extra!!  Why Be Fooled Somewhere else?

Funny Farm is buzzing with the invasion of killer bees from Heck. The Cows, Goats, Geese and the (equal but less equal) other assorted animals are going stir-crazy.  Swirling pantsless while WFH. Cleaning up cobwebs and driving bats out of their belfries.  Re-serving up the same lukewarm (forwar)dishes from their other WhatsCrapp, FarceBook and InstaBabble virtual, half-baked feeds.  Park your brains, fellow FF folks, suspend your beliefs and enjoy!

Amble says Wake-up people! Rejoice! Repent! / Gnash your teeth! / Binge-watch Netflix. Your hair / their pants / the bush / this girl is on FIIIIRE, here is  conclusive proof / wild-a$$ conspiracy / 95% discount flier !!

Bumble says Relax, man, it's troubling sign for the FF natives, yes, and totally due to not following the Manusmriti code of conduct.  The FF has seen this coming, this is the Kali-yuga.  Nothing we can't  fix / destroy / bomb / drown / ignore.  5G's (Panch-gavya) to the rescue!

Crumble says Bumble is full of $h.t. I have personal message delivered by carrier pigeons from my beautician / dietician / statistician friend's uncle's third cousin who is working 24-7 on this. Smoke has indeed been pouring from my ears / the bar-b-q grill  all weekend.  Ergo, Bingo! The FF world should totally be on / we didn't start the fire!!!

Dimwit says Amble, Bumble, Crumble and Egghead are not getting the complete picture / subscription to Amazon Prime / porn channel / required medications / psychiatric help that they need.

Egghead says Heck, NO, stop this, Dmwit.  NOW! Stop misleading the faithful FF Denizens with half-baked nonsense / cookies / ceramic pottery.

Amble trumpets loudly that in response to this impending calamity / catastrophe / caterwauling, the silence from the other side is golden / deafening / signs of abject surrender / Maun (absence of noise or ~10 bB level).

Fumble says Egghead can go f**k himself, Dimwit didn't read the full post / tea-leaves.  All are smoking something funky.  He would call Bumble a son-of-a-bee but bees might be offended. Crumble's argument and snide comments is how the cookie eventually, well, crumbles.

Dimwit says anyone who agrees with Bumble, Egghead and Fumble now, but agreed with Amble, Crumble, and Grumble during the BAD (Before Acche Din) Congress Raj / BJP AD (Acche Din) / ReThuglican Elephant Daze / DemocRat Donkey’s Years is guilty of sheer, unfettered and totally hilarious / heinous / horrific hypocrisy.

Grumble says Hothead is right / wrong and this is what gives our side / their side / love a bad name….but criticizing Bumble is unfair / fair game and if you'd really read the graffiti on the wall / Egyptian hieroglyphics / smoke signals / kama sutra from April 15, 1912 you'd know that!!!

Ignoramus says calm down. Let's sort this out rationally / alphabetically/ categorically / algorithmically.

Joker says we tried calm and rational already and it didn't work. Now please drop your pants so you can pull your head / statistics / broomstick out of your a$$.  It might just save mightily on your chiropractor or proctologist bills!

Kilroy and Loser say they watched all cartoons / talk shows / ESPN / GuruSwami videos.  We've all known about this for ages and all known and UNknown agencies are praising Funny Farm's Buzzing Bee BS Bash.

Mongo and Nanga say on that you can't control / supervise / criticize / euthanize the entire Funny Farm. Not possible.  FF animals are party animals - in more ways than can be counted

Obunda retweets flake news and within five minutes gets re-tweeted 100,000 times.

Pondy says go back and read Bumble, Egghead and Grumble. Because you missed this relevant / irrelevant stuff - fractured factoid / buried dog bone!  This exception / deception / connection / rejection / conniption totally proves / disproves that the originator is a genius / moron / taxidermist.

Quacker says no, don’t read Bumble, Egghead and Grumble because someone just released a NEW BOMBSHELL that will set your skull on fire again.  If you have one left after the first bombshell.  It will totally make hair grow through ears / nostrils / other orifices without Rogaine.

Randy says okay, yeah, the new bombshell is pretty shocking / rocking / meh but what about this dude which is meh / stinky / intoxicating.

Stinky says the number of false assumptions / out-of-context quotes / bad grammatical choices / melted crayons in the new bomb / pistachio / c-shell make it a mess.

Tatta wonders about anyone who feels compelled to rebut / ignore Quacker's propaganda.  As an aside, Randy is anyway a psychopath / sociopath / homeopath / naturopath.

Uncouth and Vicious stumble into the debate discussion late / hung over and have no clue what's going on. Nor interested except trying to cure that buzzing in their head - not sure if it is from the the damn boozing bees or not.

Wagger tries to explain to Uncouth and Vicious what's going on, causing Uncouth to fall asleep while Vicious gets... vicious.

Xman accuses Yokel, in a sidebar, of cherry picking his facts. Yokel accuses Xman of nit / nose / a$$ picking.

Zoomer tunes out completely and leaves the group.

 © 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆

The E-I-E-I-O Kerfuffle

© 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆

Funny Farm has been rocked by another immense scandal, folks… this involves, ahem… a vowel movement.

A recent post attributed to a well-known talking head was forwarded by a denizen to the FF fractured factoid forum. However, that entire picture (Puri tasvir) supposedly painted by that guy (Nar) with many best (uttam) words could become very odoriferous. His effusive missive about the speed, accuracy and efficiency of our screening methods has gone unviral - that the truth may have more than fifty shades of gray.  All due to one single suspicious vowel – a case of a knee instead of an eye, a neigh instead of a nigh.

Some fine FF folks are full of compliments (with an aiee) for our dedicated leaders. As we all should be - such a wonderful job from the pavilion - brave souls rallying the troops against the menacing marauder bugs.  Pounding the podiums, shaking their digital fists against those bug-infested bouncers and virulent googlies at FF.  Watch and learn, you haters, FF repatriated more critters from distant virus-lands than anyone else.  Heck, other farms want to learn our methods (as well as the Six Sigma secret of Mumbai dabbawalas). From us.  The entire world.  Many UN led bodies (like UNWHAT, UNWHEN, UNWHERE and even by the legendary rock group – The UNWHO) are handing out kudos – to us!!!  

Of course, tsk tsk, not only the BoB (Best of the Best) are not getting their due recognition, they are actively being maligned by fake info-virus - those howling media moguls and their wolf-raised mowglis.  Those nattering nabobs of negativism, as Zbigniew once said.  Can we get just one lonely “thumbs up” on FarceBook for our brave leaders?  One measly smiley on InstaBabble?  One folded hand emoji on WhatsCrapp?

The haters complement (with an eee) is howling that the REMF crisis management is just WoW (Worst of the Worst) - our team does not have enough test data to claim victory. The pitch is crumbling, this wicket is getting stickier, the entire world is being driven on the back-foot. It is making everyone bat$hit crazy.

Partake any of this brew at your own risk. In this cauldron, there appears to be a very heady mix of the folksy gyan originating from (Man ki) Baat as well as guano originating from those cursed bats.  Not quite cricket, eh?  Not even the chirping kind. 

And take it from me, as Dr. Puri has said, curveballs may be hurled at you at a furious pace in the cricket match of life, use your bats to flatten the curve!

 © 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆

The FreeDump of Screech

 

© 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆

The Funny Farm saga continues…

During the most recent upheaval in a teacup, several farm denizens lamented about the ripe aroma on the Funny Farm. Some posted mea-culpa’s and others, mea-no-culpa-you-a-culpa messages.

Some pondered and having gazed deeply at their navels, vowed to desist from increasing the Fertilizer (Flatulence?) to Fact ratio (the dreaded F2F ratio, FFS) on the Funny Farm. To them, Smooth Move, Ex-lax. Uff uff, huff puff, Let's all, reduce that F2F. Others do not think that anything special is necessary. Instead, follow a previous FLoTUS and Just Say No! if you don’t like something.  Hold your nose and dump your load!

After all, isn’t the Funny Farm all about free-for-all between the crème de la crème? Isn’t it a fact that the FF group was smarter than the average bear to begin with, and, with nearly 40 years of accumulated gyan, appears to be even thicker than the usual, garden (bagh?) variety crème de la crème? So many experts amongst us! With Virologists now as well besides high-caliber historians, juggernauts of jurisprudence, excellent ecommunists, eminent ecownomists, savvy stockpickers, etc. 

Forward your unchecked sources!  Snopes, sirree, Bob… beware of all the “fake” stuff floating on the WhatsCrapp, FarceBook and other InstaBabble! My opinions are facts and in fact, the only true and real facts that matter.  Bring your own facts, the alternative facts and other fractured factoids. Let’s stir the pot and bring it to a boil. 

And thus help the Funny Farm achieve the vision it was to meant to be - the FreeDump of Screech paradise that was envisioned by the sages. 

It was predicted by Michel Le Nostredame.

 

 © 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆

'Twas the BS of Times...

© 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆

 

Ah, Funny Farm has been faced with a question about Dates and Times...   People are asking if the avatars and deities of Hinduism are pigments of our colorful imagination or real people.  A friend posited with some  supposed dates for the mythological events and possible birthdays for protagonists and antagonists.  In terms of BC datelines...

While philosophers, horologists, calendarians, etc. have worked on such questions assiduously, here are a couple of pennies and paisas for the BFFs on the FF.

First, let's discard the usage of BC to refer to mythological historical events and figures, since it is about a mythological character.   Next, BC is a decadent, western concept for referencing significant events and dates specially near and dear to us (folks, we don't want to digress into the other nutty dates - edible kind or, ahem,  Daddy, Mummy - (s)he is my date kind- let's leave those for another... date). 😇

Next, BC is based on one of those... middle eastern prophets.  It simply does not do justice to our own ancient heritage on the FF and not mentioned by Aryabhatta or in any other sacred Sanskrit texts.  BC has, unfortunately, also been used vaguely in scatological and scandalous terms (Arre BC!) on the FF, ahem, tsk tsk, wagging fingers at you-know-who!  The Cows, the Geese and the Goats are all collectively mooing, honking and bleating their dis-approvals.

We need find a term that actually respects all that our FF stands for.   Yes, I know that we have SS (Saka Samvat - championed by none other than Meghnad Saha) and VS (Vikram Samvat) but I just don't see nnnn VS, or, mmmm SS in use in the FF usage on WhatsCrapp.

The first proposal that comes to mind is starting the date reference with AD (not Anno Domini, dammit, but Acche Din).  It will be a simple offset of all the significant dates by 2,014 years.  Anything before AD is, by definition, Before Acche Din (BAD).  However, it may have to overcome the confusion since the previous AD has been now around for a couple of millennia.

The other one that makes sense is BS time (Bharatiya Samskara, or, Bharatiya Stretchable - before you start getting a little warm under the collar). I am fairly confident that it will get adopted widely by the FF denizens in the WhatsCrapp forum.

Let the good BS times roll!

 

 © 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆

The ​Doh-Mi-Note's Pizza Quest

 

© 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆

 

Happy Pi Day, 3/14/2020!​

​Blast from the past - spring 2012, as I vaguely recall while I was visiting family in New Delhi.  Over the weekend, ​my sister​ wanted to have ​some of the oh-so-bubbly, delicious, golden-brown ​3-cheese pizza​ be​i​n​g​ blitzed​ ​on the airwaves by​ Domino's. ​ Who were we, I and my BiL, to say no to Pizza?!​​ Sure thing, let's go!​

There was supposedly a Domino's in Connaught Place - THE shopping area in New Delhi​ (don't throw rotten tomatoes at me, I confess I still don't know the local hot-spots)​.  ​Around 6pm, the three of us piled into a car driven by a very friendly and burly Sikh gentleman.

​After a bit of driving around, we found the​ Dominos in CP ​which turned out to be a take-out place (or, in Indian English, at "take-away" place).  Since ​we​ wanted to sit and ​enjoy our dinner in a restaurant,​ my BiL​ asked the ​nice ​fella​ ​behind the counter ​​about​ the closest sit-down Domino's.  I kept thinking that the concept of Domino's ​in NA ​is around delivery or take-out, not sit-down restaurant like Pizza Hut.  Never ​you ​mind.  We were boldly going where none had gone before. 

The​ bored individual at the counter grew even more disinterested when he figured we were not paying customers at his establishment.   He barely glanced at us and​ told us that the nearest ​other ​one was 20-25 minutes away... or more, in some market ​or mall or a ​shopping strip​, in Defense Colony. And ​he ​gave us ​precise ​directions (two fly-overs, after the second one, get-off the flyway, cross the nullah (ditch), double back​ by that big tree​, and "it's right there at the corner"​, haanjee​).

We drove... and drove and drove. Crossed two fly-overs and stopped​ in an area that looked like a vaguely deserted parking area except for an attendant and his few pals having a passionate sing-a-long​​​​ with the boombox going at the highest volume​. Our​ driver asked the locals for direction​s​ - ​one fine fellow inspecting the local wall​ ​turned around and ​said, ​"Arre, bhai, ​Narula ​Us Kone Pe Hai (Narul​​a is at/around the corner)"​.

 

​"​Oye, N​a​​hin ji, woh​ Narula​ Nahin​. P​eej​a Hut​t"​, ​our​ driver insisted. ​"​No, no, Pizza Hut nahin​, Dominos!"​​, said my BiL.​ Now ​our​ driver picked up ​on ​what we were looking for. With a​ thick ​S​ikh accent​, he let loose a torrent in the local lingo - a mish-mash of punjabi / hindi / haryanwi - I wish I had a recording of the audio - it was mellifluous.

 

​The only thing I understood through the conversation was him​ asking for ​"​Doh-mi-Not​e​ p​eeja"​​ which our driver repeated several times loudly over the boombox. With as much emphasis as he could muster with his turbaned head and his vigorous right hand stabs in the air​. The parking attendant​,​ ha​ving​ gotten thoroughly confused or bored ​by this time ​and said ​"​D'oh, ​N​nahin hai​ Doh-Mi-Not​e​'s ​yehan"​. ​No Domino's.​ Two of his pals immediately disputed his knowledge of the local area and another lively discussion ensued amongst themselves with much head bobble, violent gestures in opposite directions and scornful and skeptical comments, until we got consensus on another set of directions, sure, follow this.

So we drove in one direction, stopped again and asked​ another fellow​. This time, the answers were - ​"​​Haanjee​, ​udhar jao peeja ke liye", indicating the opposite of the direction​s​ given to us.  Now the adventure was on.  ​"​P​eej​a​?"​, sure there was a Narula's. No no, not Narula's... here we go again. We ​meander​ed through some ​some very ​narrow ​gullie​s and residential areas. We drove over ​a couple of more ​flyways. We ​went​ across ​several ​nullahs. We drove ​by​​ a few​ shopping areas,​​ strip malls and food ​​establishments​. In short, we went over the rivers and through the woods, as ​the song says​ ​about​ going to grandma's house​ ​for Christmas - directed by ever confusing set of directions from multiple human GPS's along the way​. Fly-over flew by.  Nullahs overflowed. Bypasses were by-passed. The long road never taken before was taken... and...We finally did arrive at ​a​ Domino's, which was - you guessed it, a take-away place! 

​We ​​d​id order and ​did ​enjoy​​ some pizza (not bad)​ around 10:00pm​, ​with ​garlic bread and some soft drinks​. ​​They had​ a couple of ​plastic ​tables ​and a few chairs that they brought out for us ​​in an open area ​​nearby​​. ​Alongside the food, we watched some real-life drama as a couple of unhappy customers who came by to pick up their pizzas and got into some discussions regarding the quality and quantity of toppings on their orders - with appropriate references to higher authorities, powerful politicians, each other's religious leanings and the local police. They finally left after exchanging colorful descriptions of the establishment and having established previously undiscovered family connections and legitimacy of ancestral roots of each other.

​​We​ kept telling each other that the adventure is something to remember. ​Our driver told us on the way back that this was the very FIRST time in his ​life​ that​ he had had enjoyed peeja and seemed very happy.

 

 © 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆

 

Welcome to the Funny Farm!

I hope you join me here for random musings and occasional rants.

It got started with a posting in a WhatsApp group which is reproduced here with minor edits 😁😁😁

----

© 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆

Here is the latest situation analysis about Farmer xxx's Funny Farm (FF) math problem.

There is much unrest in the ranks about the food situation in light of the supposedly Class VII math question. It is a deep socio-economic quagmire in disguise.

The Cow-A-Bunga team is not happy.  They claim they have long heritage and cultural ties to the FF dating back to ancient Vedic days.   They have taken to social media in a few memes, postings and viral videos about their role in ousting the Pink Pigs ("All animals are created equals.  But Pigs are created more equal than others") which was not properly acknowledged by the replacement Brown Pigs.  Now in-charge, the Cow-A-Bungas are making sure that their legacy gets its due recognition.  Anything and anyone questioning this are anti-farm, anti-animal, anti-social rabble-rousing butt-heads and honking morons.  They feel that they must continue have the largest share of the green grass to shape the dream farm that was predicted in ancient Puranas.

Harvard Ecownomists, according to the Cow-A-Bungas, say that the "constant growth rate of the grass" assumed in the so-called "math problem" is a bad assumptions made by the haters.  According to their forecast they see phenomenal future Grass Domestic Product (GDP) numbers, FSFF is poised to become the SuperMegaHugeFarm, about to overtake all others in time. FF will be a net exporter of grass under the Blue Skies-Gentle Winds plan if the opposition doesn't get in the way.  And a permanent member of the Security Council.  Just watch us!

The opposition, GoGo's (Goat & Goose) Coalition, have their own take on the situation.

The Goats are of course, claiming they are GOATs (Greatest of All Times).  They keep their heads low and feel that they are the real victims here.  A section of the Goats also feels a bit more aligned with the Cow-A-Bunga's - being quadri-ped and grass is their main diet.  But current political reality on the FF have them working with the Geese.  The Geese are loudly honking demanding Anser Anser  (Google "Anser Anser" for some fun)!  They feel they are the most marginalized - they are birds, bipeds, and, grass is not the main ingredient of their diet.  So all are feeling quite disgusted with the all-grass food situation on FF.

Both are claiming that Cow-A-Bungas eat a disproportionate majority of the grass anyway and are producing a lot of climate changing flatulence thus destroying Mother Earth.

All GoGo's are united on one aspect.  Upon being asked to prove their ancestral claim to remaining on FSFF, the GoGo's are saying "Cow-gaz Nahin Dikhayenge".  Such a challenge "math question" is an existential threat to the GoGo's and they are reaching out to Cats, Dogs, Horses and other oppressed minorities.

After much deliberation, Farmer XXX may be considering just smoking all the grass and giving up on farming.

 

 © 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆