Ballentine Shallentine!

© by 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆

Mrs. Yours Truly (YT) didn't take kindly to any...

Balle Balle Ballentine’s Day

(posted 14 Feb 2026)

Oh joy! Is it that time of the year... again?

Sneezing non-stop with love shuv, like airborne pollen.

Roses are still quite red, my wallet sings da blues,

Chocolate & "whine", the vague whiff of romance, deja vu.

Dare I ask, the all-wise, Mrs. Yours Truly,

"Hey, what's with this Stupid Cupid, he's never dressed fully?"

She gives me The Look, with her pretty, fiery eyes.

"What are you up to now?" Her suspicions on the rise.

Maybe it’s just those flowers that I didn’t buy last year,

Or the fact I forgot again, she can just sense my fear.

She says "Oh honey! You know I really don’t want anything."

Yeah, sure, sure. I hear that canned response, on cue, every spring.

“Really! No gifts, no fuss, no big romance.”

But oh, then follow the pitying sighs! I feel her "You fool!" glance.

That Dinky (Rinki Sharma's hubby), a traitor to our noble cause.

His Ballentine Day shenanigans are legendary, giving all men pause!

I’m here, pondering how to dodge the "No Gifts" marital trap,

He has candles & balloons, and all that lovey dovey crap.

Is he onto something, this despicable, deplorable chap?

While I was just considering the next refreshing nap?

Ah well, I guess 'tis better to just play along,

Pretend I’m a lovebird, start singing a lovesong!

But deep down, isn't today, a Hallmark marketing cliché?

A Balle Balle Ballentine to all, hope you all have a lovely day.

The B-Day  

(Or, oops, I forgot again, my sweetie, but I have a very good excuse!) 
Posted 14 Feb 2025)

Forget this Ballentine shallentine, chocolates, or cheer,  

This day’s not for love, it’s sacrifice, sweetheart, dear!  

Gau Diwas! Not roses, no sweet serenades,  

Just a firm moral cudgel that never degrades.  

Why share affection when one can share spite?  

Why hold a hand when one can start a fight?  

fakebhakti’s armor. So righteous, so strong,  

With it, dear comrades, one can never go wrong.  

Love shove is phoren, a western charade,  

Let’s trade in romance for a shouting parade!  

There is no need for kindness, for joy, or other reason,  

Just one more excuse for the outrage season.  

So wield your sacrifice like the unraveling moral thread. 

And let’s all acknowledge that irony is dead.

For nothing says kulcha, tradition, or grace,  

Like screaming at couples in a public place.

Stupid Cupid

(posted 14 Feb 2024)

"Ballentine shallentine

Are Western canards!

No chocolat, no flowers,

No dates, no cards!"

For the sake of our kulcha

Dear Fellows, take a bow.

Be brave! Tell your lady,

You can only hug... a cow.

Enjoy then, thy solitude,

On the guestroom bed.

Ponder life's little choices.

Sipping rosé. It is red.

This St Valentine's day, 

If you do hug that Moo. 

You may share the feeling,

With Violets. They're... blue.

𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆