Unkill? Maydam?

© 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖆

The following ("Unkill") was inspired by a true event on a Bengaluru - Hyderabad flight as related by a friend.

These days, young ladies in customer service roles talk to me slowly, clearly and with a great deal of kindness in their voice and manner. I CAN'T STAND IT!  

"Maydam" was just pure retaliation.

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Unkill 

by Ms CheatGPT, the drama queen

Couple of days back, jetting smooth through the skies,  
From Hyd to 'Luru, feeling quite wise,  
Sat next to a lady, polished and bright,  
Fifty, fit'n'fab, pure midlife delight.

She smiled, I unleashed my widest grin,  
(Inside my head: Bro,still got it! Win-win!)  
Buckling up, dreaming of flirting finesse,  
When disaster struck in her soft-spoken mess:
"Unkill... need any help?" she said with grace.  
UNKILL!!!  
I froze. The soul left my face.  
Unkill! not Uncle was her mercy kill,  
A verbal chappal, yet stylish and chill.

I thought I'd ask a bro to compose da blues,  
Maybe drop a diss track, viral on the news:  
"I wanna dye my hair,  
Inject Botox without a care,  
Get neon sneakers and some flair,  
I don't want some aunties mid-air,  
Calling me Unkill, just not fair!

Maybe I’ll wear sunglasses indoors,  
Maybe I’ll speak only in Gen-Z metaphors.  
But nothing. NOTHING, kills the thrill,  
Like being called Unkill against your will."

Hey Brod, get ready. Bring da beats.  
This heartbreak needs autotune and sick street heat.

Maydam Mayhem  

by CheatGPT Didi

A few days back, looking glam at the local juice bar.
New hairdo, sipping smoothie, like a Bollywood star.
Here comes one youngster, tight shirt, heavy bling,  
Maybe thinking, "Boy, this PYT can make any heart sing!"

I gave one charming smile, full-on glow,  
(Inside my head:  
"Market value still NASA level HIGH, you know!")  
Adjusted my dupatta, ready for serious sass back,  
When he opened his mouth, causing full heart attack.

"Maydam... need any help, Aunty ji?" 

He chirped with the clueless flow.  
MAYDAM!!!  
Aiyo Rama! My blood pressure went low.  
Maydam, not Madam, from his innocent lips,  
Felt like a thousand kilos slapped on my hips.

AUNTY! I dimly heard through red hot haze.
Not once, but twice! Oh,  the searing instant blaze!  
My inner volcano erupted with murderous rage,  
I'm ready to write his name on my black list page.

Listen here, world: Nobody, I repeat, NOBODY above the age of five  
Should ever dare to use that cursed word and survive!  
For all others, be you teen, twenties, or even bearded & grey, 
It’s Didi. DIDI. ONLY DIDI, I SAY!  
Have some damn respect for my eyeliner or... pray!

I am on speed dial with my BFF, my sisters,  
We are composing a bluesy sad song to soothe my blisters.
Maybe I’ll TikTok with full swag,  
Maybe I'll roast them with my designer bag!  
But NOTHING, I tell you, NOTHING kills the thrill,  
Like getting called Maydam and Aunty against your own will."

Oh, hubbie dear, reservations tonight, for some haute cuisine dine,  
This heartbreak needs lots of flowers, chocolate & wine!